BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT!

Just back from Scotland - filmed introduction for next Spring's Glasgow auditions! Fantastic day in Buchanan Street, Glasgow with Falkirk's Camelon Pipe Band and Highland Dancers, Piper Iain Grant, 10 Scottish Terriers, the amazing Nick Richmond as Sir Sean Connery and my good self. The rain stopped and the Sun came out!!! Many thanks to Steve, Lucy and Alice from Talkback Thames for their professionalism!

COMEDY NIGHT!!

Saturday 27th November 2010 - The Waverley Pub, Marine Drive West, Aldwick, Bognor Regis, in Conjunction with ROX presents...

A Night Of COMEDY!!! Featuring:
MARK FELGATE - "...right on the funny bone and his voice throwing talents are very original" - The Stage
THE LEGENDARY FLOPSY BUNNIES - Stars of Musical Comedy
TONY TINMAN - If Tony Tinman were any more bitter he’d be a lemon.
Plus ROX 2010 MC BILLY CONNEARLY.
Tickets £7.50 from The Waverley, 01243823137.

ROX 2010 - The 20th Anniversary!

The best "BILLY CONNOLLY" gig I ever had!!! 38,000 fans, 2 nights of rock'n'roll at it's best all the way from 4 x 10-12 year olds to From The Jam with Bruce Foxton, Mark Brzezicki and Russell Hastings! - only 2 words for it - "Fuckin'" and "Amazing!" lmao - ROX are the best bunch of guys I've met in the last 20 years!!

EARLS COURT

I am appearing on the BOOK THE ACT stand at the National Wedding Exhibition at Earls Court this weekend! I absolutely love being MC/Compere at weddings - it's the best fun!!! I help things run according to plan and have a great laugh with the guests at the same time!!!

ROX 2010 - The 20th Anniversary!

I've just got back from Compering on the Arena Stage at the 20th ROX Music and Arts FREE! Festival in Bognor Regis with some of the finest talent from around the world! Artists and Musicians from as far away as Australia, New York, Canada, Germany, Spain as well as from all over the UK!! Too many highlights to mention but Headlining tonight was "FROM THE JAM" with original bass player/vocalist the amazing BRUCE FOXTON, Bognor's own RUSSELL HASTINGS lead/rhythm guitar/uncannily real "JAM" vocals and the legendary MARK BRZEZICKI from Big Country, Ultravox, Procul Harum, The Cult etc etc on Drums! ROX 20th Anniversary will definitely be the one to remember! Click on the Title and Links for more Info!

Hobbs 2010

Just heard today that Hobbs Farm 2010 in aid of 4SIGHT beat last year's total by raising a massive £21,000!!!! Great weekend, great music, great fun and great audiences!!

HOBB'S FARM 2010

Just back from Saturday at Hobb's 3-day music festival in aid of 4SIGHT - the West Sussex Association for the Blind - Hobb's is the South East's best kept secret!!! 20 music acts, Rock, Folk, Indie, Country, Pop, House??! You name it and the best atmosphere you can ever imagine!! The most fun you can have with your clothes off!! (Is that right?...it looks wrong to me...) Anyway - I'm back there tomorrow A.M. as MC so up the wooden hills for me!!

LAUGHTER!!

I've been thinkin' about Laughter!! - I suppose it's just the opposite of sadness! Both produce tears after all. There is such a fine line between them though eh? I have been analysing Laughter! It releases so much pent-up energy that you can hear an audience actually clearing their lungs and coughing! I think it has got to be the pinnacle of positive energy as far as humans are concerned!!! PLUS... it helps us to put our troubles and worries in perspective!! I love it when my Children take the piss out of me!!! It reminds me not to take things too seriously! Did you hear about the Vegetarian that died......there was a big turnup (turnip-lol!) at his funeral!! hahahahahah

United Response

Thursday 5th Aug - I spent a wonderful 3 hours with the Clients and the Staff and Carers of United Response - the Charity closest to my heart! - (click on link for further info) - they care for People with learning difficulties, mental health needs and physical disabilities in England and Wales. If SUE, VICKY, KEITH and every single one of the care assistants could be cloned and spread throughout the world their Love and Caring nature would cure everything! PLUS....They love life and especially LAUGHTER!!! The Best Medicine!

The Rob Brydon Show

Last night I played a (small) part in the new Rob Brydon Show - showing from 17th September,Fridays,BBC2,10.00pm. We filmed the final episode of the six-part run, featuring clips from the series, Special Guests and a shedload of laughs!! Amazing!! Rob's impression of Radio 2 Legend KEN BRUCE was brilliant! If you want to see more click on the link! Rob even talked to the audience about this marvellous new invention on the internet......The YOU TUBE!!

Messing with the UNKNOWN!

I paid the price this week of messing about with the unknown! While moving some furniture I managed to rupture my Right Bicep!! (I didn't even realise I had one!! I haven't worked out for years!!) Surgery awaits in the very near future! Isn't life a bowl of fuckin' cherries!

JULY 26th

Well - how the hell are ye? Summer is now officially here - the English schools are shut (Scotland's been off for two weeks awready!) Can you remember?? Seven weeks!! of FREEDOM!!! no teachers, no lessons, no homework - unlimited time for play (what the kids now call "hangin' out") we used to play Football...3-and-in, Hit the Bar, six or seven a side - with a "Backy and" (a defender who doubled as Goalkeeper!)imagine that in South Africa!...The best years of our lives.. BTW ALEX "HURRICANE" HIGGINS - GEORGE BEST has got the Table racked up in Heaven with a couple of large Vodkas on the side just waiting for you! Play On Alex!

Jamieswish

I am appearing at the Scout hall, East Ham Road, Littlehampton, West Sussex this Saturday 17th in aid of the charity Jamieswish - hope to see you there!

MidSummer!

The Solstice has come and gone and here we are in JULY! Isn't it just the BEST!! Warm - Trees at their best, birds signing (signing??? I must get some tippex) SINGING! - Everyone feeling a bit more positive! - and David Cameron - (the Prime Minister - hahahaha) Shiteing himself because now he has got to play with the big boys from America and Russia and Africa and everywhere else - they didn't go to ETON!! haha NO Dave they Live in the real world!!! lol

20TH ANNIVERSARY of ROX ON THE PROM!!!

This year sees the 20th Anniversary of the South Coast's Biggest Free Music and Arts Festival! 18th and 19th of September. It is the best Local festival in the UK with Local Bands and Artists plus The Big-Name acts - Last year we saw Neville Staple from The Specials, The Strangler's Hugh Cornwell, The Legendary John Bonham's Sister DEBBIE - who has in vocals what Bonzo had on Drums! I will be involved MCing and havin' a great laugh!

I am really getting into this Wedding MC/Host thing!! Last week I did a wedding in Arundel Town Hall and afterwards at Hobb's Farm, Yapton, West Sussex as MC! It was more fun than you can have with your clothes on or off!! BTW I am a very old person and I have forgotten how much fun one can have with one's clothes off!! Thankfully!!!lol

"Billy's Thoughts"
‘You pass this way but once. There’s no such thing as normal. There’s you and there’s the rest. There’s now and there’s forever. Do as you damn well please or you could end up being a pot-bellied, hairless boring fart.’
I first realised that I wanted to be an entertainer when I was about ten or twelve.

I hope to grow old disgracefully.

I’d like to be a complete nuisance, like Spike Milligan. Spike’s a great great hero of mine, I’d like to shout at church Rubbish! Explain! I’d like to be in a public gallery of parliament shouting Tosh! Nonsense! Get a job! I really would. I’d like to go and show up those Scottish parliament types.. I like to scream at Nationalists whenever I can, I have a deep loathing of nationalists and patriots. I don’t like patriots or religious weirdos, but I would like to be a nuisance, I’d like to stand behind the National Health system and all these other miracles like the Welfare State. You know, stand beside the things I truly believe in because I think the Welfare State’s a miracle and it’s under attack the whole time.

I would like to still be active.. keep my mind active and still always stand for freedom and the things that I really believe in, the things I believed in when I was a hippy, and I still believe in now.

Welll.....

Hallo!! isn't it great to be here! Let's face it - at my age it's great to be Any-fuckin-Where! I would just like to say....everybody says the Country's past-it, it's nothing like the good old days, we've sold out to Europe and basically the whole thing's fucked! Well... I have been viewing Britain's Got Talent and I think if Britain can vote a dancing fuckin' DOG into the finals....well we're in better shape than we think we are! Personally I think if the Dog had gone up against David Cameron it would have been a lot closer than it was!! PLUS...It might have sunk it's teeth into his pampered, privileged, eton-faced arse! LOLOLOL!

Mr BLUE SKY / Mr CONNOLLY

Off to Solihull to play VINCE tomorrow night at the Dovehouse Theatre, then over to Lincolnshire to play BILLY at a private party on Friday. I think I am getting MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder!)

Slimming World Let's Beat It 12 week Challenge

My amazing Slimming World members in North Bersted, Bognor Regis (Mondays at 5.30pm) have lost a total of 28st 7lbs in the last 12 weeks!!! Follow the Plan and you WILL lose weight!! Well done everybody!!

Midsummer Fayre 2010, Milton Keynes

Nobodies Perfect Productions present the double bill Mr. Blue Sky/ That's Entertainment at the Midsummer Fayre, Milton keynes on the 12th and 13th of June! Starring Della Allen as Kirstie, Paul Findlay as Joe, Steve Humpherson as Lee and...ME!!! as ageing rocker Vince! Also appearing, Wilko Johnson, Counterfeit Stones, The Blockheads, Eddie & The Hotrods etc etc etc

Being a Lookalike

It never ceases to amaze me, this Lookalike/Tribute thing! Since I started "Being" Billy Connolly I have appeared as a straight Lookalike, then a Look/Sound Alike, then as a Tribute doing a Stand-Up routine like BILLY'S, then on VIVA TV stripping off on "PANTS OFF DANCE OFF", then unbelievably...Acting!!! Playing the part of Vince Meager - an ageing Rock Star - in the play "MR BLUE SKY" by Phil Preece appearing in London's West End!!! Life does indeed imitate Art! WTF?? Incidentally Billy is one of the nicest people I have ever met!

Summer 2010

I have the privilege of Presenting/Appearing at the following Free/Charity Gigs/festivals this summer!
Sat 17th July - Jamieswish Event, Littlehampton
Sat/Sun 24th/25th July ROX ON THE PROM - Bognor Regis
Fri/Sat/Sun 3/4/5th September - HOBB'S FARM, YAPTON, WEST SUSSEX - FOR 4SIGHT The West Sussex Charity for the Blind
Sun 10th October - World Mental Health Day, Alexandra Theatre, Bognor Regis

Mr Blue Sky

Mr Blue Sky/That's Entertainment visits The Prince of Wales Theatre, Cannock on Sunday, 25th of April - for Box Office details Click on the Link

JAMIESWISH

I have been booked to appear at a big Fundraiser for the Charity "Jamieswish" (click on the link for more info)on 17th July 2010 - watch this space for more details...

Mr Blue Sky in the WEST END!!!!!

Wednesday - 4.45am - I just got back from performing Mr. Blue Sky in the Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton which went really well but I still feel like I am dreaming! Last Sunday we appeared at the Jermyn Street Theatre in the heart of the West End!! It only seats 70 but it is a really beautiful venue. It really only hit me when we came out of the theatre after the show, turned the corner and there in all her glory was Piccadilly Circus!!! Life never ceases to amaze me! Click on the link to visit Jermyn Street Theatre.

Mr Blue Sky!!

For Complete list of Spring Tour dates click on link or visit - http://www.nobodysperfectproductions.com/

Mr Blue Sky!!

I am appearing as "Vince Meager" - Mr Blue Sky in "That's Entertainment" by Phil Preece, Directed by Paolo Allen, starring Della Allen, Steve Humpherson and Paul Findlay, at the Jermyn Street Theatre, off Piccadilly on Sunday 28th March. Box Office 02072872875 or click on link for full tour dates!

The Village Hotel, Swansea

I am appearing at the Village Hotel Swansea next Friday the 26th, LIVE - Wales V France Rugby first then ME haha!!! for tickets see Village Hotel Swansea

Spring Tour - "That's Entertainment"

I am now halfway through rehearsals for "That's Entertainment" which opens next Friday 19th & Saturday 20th at The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - tickets available from venue. For more info and full list of tour dates click on title.

Billy Connolly at the Hammersmith Apollo

I went along for a lesson in impersonating the Immortal Mr Connolly tonight! He is as accomplished as ever and had me in bits!!

4SIGHT - WEST SUSSEX ASSOCIATION for the BLIND

BIG CHARITY BURNS SUPPER!! being held on Saturday 23rd January at the Laburnum Centre, Lyon St, Bognor Regis. Traditional Fare including HAGGIS!etc and of course...Whisky!! plus...da da.... ME!!! as BILLY CONNOLLY MC!!! FOR TICKETS CALL 01243 838009 or Click on the link above!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Can I wish everyone an extremely happy 2010! - It's only the 2nd and the magic has started to pale already!! When I was growing up in Scotland people were still wishing you a Happy New Year in March!!! Binge Drinking??? we never even heard of it!!! If you were sober by Valentine's Day you were treated like some kind of weirdo!! Anyway Hoppy now Yaer! Eh Harry no Your - fuck - Harpy Noo yaer =8 bollocks - I'm havin' another drink!! Cheers!